On the way home I picked up some beer imported from Denmark. Carlsberg has a nice kick, despite the notion that the Danish people have something against the Muslims for printing those cartoons of Allah in their newspapers.No, they just make a good beer. And what a way to start a blog about controversy and the presidential campaign then without mentioning Jeremiah Wright. Sorry, Reverend Wright.
Well Wright is wrong. Maybe not about what he says about the black church, since I absolutely have no basis to know the REAL issues black churches face, but as cracker, even I can understand that this guy is causing unnecessary harm to Obama's campaign. Jesus. The more this man talks the more Obama squirms at the podium. And like Jay Leno said recently, you have to wonder how much Hillary is paying this man to continue to jive in front of the cameras and the radio.
But that is a joke and not a fact.
What is a fact is that when I went to cover Obama's presidential announcement in Springfield last year, Obama's message was clear.
"What's stopped us is the failure of leadership. The smallness of our politics -- the ease we're distracted by the petty and trivial, our chronic avoidance of tough decisions, our preference for scoring cheap political points instead of rolling up our sleeves and building a working consensus to tackle big problems," Obama said in February of 2007 in Springfield when he announced his candidacy to run for president.
And even a year later those words ring true in the daily slug fest for political points in the media.
What's bogging down his campaign now is that he sort of has to deal with the daily dish of new controversies and answer tough questions. Which there is nothing wrong with that. Every man, woman or child (Bush. Cheap shot. I kid the president) had to answer those when they were running.
But it seems to me that some use this to their advantage, especially in the high-wire world of campaining. It's like all the candidates decided that because America's attention span is so low, especially when it comes to the presidential campaigns, that the Beavis and Butthead steamroller designed to destroy everything in the proverbial path to reach a goal (to score), is acceptable.
I thought that this was about ending the war. I thought that this was about fixing something. Anything. Shit. Even the door lock on my Ford Tempo.
I thought we were smarter. I thought that this was about getting Republicans out of power, which was something we couldn't do with John Kerry. Because you know, he was the most electable.
But these trivial all out attacks on candidates are reported in the media at a frantic pace.
If anyone remembers, a couple of weeks ago Hillary appeased to the blue collar vote and won Pennsylvania because she downed a shot and a beer.
Because when you think about boilermakers, and I'm talking about the old fashioned ones where you drop the shot glass into the swill and then down the whole thing as fast as you can, the first thing you think about is Senator Clinton.
Hillary Rodham Clinton.
Not Mike Royko, or Bill Hicks, or Richard Pryor, or George Carlin, or even most of the old timers who frequent the Billy Goat Tavern -- the classics -- the people who have deserved a free boilermaker at the end of their day for the past 30 years, the people with grime between their finger nails, the ones who wear work boots, shit, the ones who drive an old Ford, but no, it was Senator Clinton.
But why? What is this political game of backgammon teaching us? Or what is it supposed to teach us? There's been debate about the levels of the middle class, but I doubt that somehow the image of a former First Lady doing shots of Crown Royale and chugging beer will appeal to the working classes? Is that what we want? Some beer-swillin' shot bouncing lady that can kick it with the old boys and has had pretty much of a pimpin-aint-easy roll with our national saxophone player?
I guess so. I guess we do. Hey, it worked.
But have you seen the people at the bar? At the local drinking hole? At the church around the corner? At the local bottle factory?
It's not a pretty sight. Fore one, you're in it and so am I, drinking with the rest of them. But come on, a stranger coming in for a one-time visit doesn't really mesh with the background. "Support the Troops" bumper stickers and the giant screen TV's used for karaoke pretty much make up for it and the giant garbage cans used for cigarette butts outside of the door don't help either.
None of it should help.
I used to love bars.
I'm astounded that the "boilermaker" image actually worked in Pennsylvania. That's like using Pee Wee Herman for an advertisement of why Porno Movie Theaters are good places to go to on the weekends.
Hell, everyone knows that presidents don't mix well with the die-hard Cubbie bars on the North Side of Chicago. Where you can still find old skool payphone booths. Where you can smoke. Where you can bitch about your problems even though you haven't seen these cats in a long while.
Shit, I guess it is like Washington politics. The in-crowd stays in, accepted by the boys, fearing what this new jack off with a leather jacket will do to the aesthetic of the place. Because the aesthetic is important. The image. The way you look at it.
Not all that other shit. Ya know, policy, the economy and being able to fill your gas tank with a $5 spot, as Dennis Miller once put it.
Even the idea of getting the drinking culture's vote by doing a boilermaker seems so out of the blue to me. I mean, if you've ever been in a bar, you can buy that shit (the vote) by buying a deuce of rounds. Maybe some Wild Turkey, if it is a lucky night. Then a night of scratch-offs...hey it's a gamble right? Maybe some pizza, "Hell no one cooks at home anyway!" then some beer and then if we're lucky,we can muster up enough courage to say "What the fuck is up with these rebate checks? Aren't they supposed to come in at about this time? I paid this shit."
But this is all stupid.
Why?
Because the sad truth is, that while I frequent these bars, people in the bars are not meant to run the country. In fact, on a wild suspicion, the people at the local watering hole will never be able to make decisions about war and the economy or even if the machine takes quarters, then can you still mix colors and whites?
But please, don't call us stupid. There is this wave of rhetoric that somehow the American people are dumb and stupid. Like we only get channel 2 or something. Like the analog-to-digital switch already came and we didn't know it. Or were aware of it.
Like, "what the fuck happened to Channel 9?" "I thought the game was on tonight?"
I'm sort of tired of the same two families running this country who know how to play the political game. Who know when to say something, or bring something up at the right time, to yes, score political points and in the eyes of the American people, make the other candidate look like he is an incompetent imbecile who has no idea who he should be hanging out with.
Like that's what it takes to win. To make the other poor sap who is running look bad.
"What? You smoked crack?" Oh no way. Not in this life time will I vote for a crack head. I'll vote for a wife that could care two-shits since she is in politcs about whom my husband fucks, but that crackhead thing, that you can't ignore.
But just as I'm tired of drinking Miller Genuine Draft, I'm sure the men of America are tired of the same old rhetoric of a couple that probably doesn't fuck anymore.
And this isn't meant to be sexist. I'll take Hillary over McCain any day. But come on. People have cheated on their girlfriends. That sex was a little awkward wasn't it? Like, yeah, "I love you. Isn't Leno doing his "Headlines" segment tonight?"
We're all fucked. The beasts are winning. And it's the worst kind of beasts. The ones who will say anything and spin any little turd into a political point.
Now where are those stimulus checks? Can I drive to work without returning to the gas station as if it was my alma matter? Can I pay these bills without having to juggle when I actually pay them? Can I save something for the future, I mean these student loans are fucking killing me. Can I NOT live pay check to pay check after I graduated from college? Can I please have some hope left in this electoral process? Can I please stop watching commercials that want to give me a pill that makes my dick hard? I have to go to work. How will I call the hospital after four hours when I have deadlines to make?
As Jack Nicholson once said. "Sell crazy someplace else. We're all stocked up here"
People talk about voter apathy. Well, I gotta tell you, the way that this current Democratic orgy is playing out, that's where this is headed.
At some point even the American people can spot a weasel and say, "Oh fuck this!" The Cubs game is on. We're used to losing.
And so it goes...
